Re: Evicting Grown Children - Landlord Forum thread

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Patse (IL) on April 14, 2012 @08:10

this has obviously put an extreme strain on your marriage.
unfortunately if your wife allows them to stay you cannot file eviction or try to force them out.
there's no simple solution and if you destroy your credit by not paying the mortgage who are you punishing? yourself.
if you have gotten to the point of this I would suggest a few things;
1. immediately seperate your finances from your wifes; start a seperate bank account in your name only.
2. stop purchasing food/household items for 'everyone'
3. talk to your wife and let her know what you are doing AFTER you seperate your financces
4. if it comes to it; file for divorce and be prepared for a 'nasty time'
5. produce a lease Month-tomonth for the children
6. oh, and get a laywer.

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Re: Evicting Grown Children by Alex on April 14, 2012 @10:08	[ Reply ]

I have a great deal of patience, and have tolerated this situation for quite some time. It is just recently that I am at my limit and so have begun to research options available to me. I work hard, am honest and try to support my family as best I can. Do I have any rights...to live comfortably in my own home? From what I've seen so far, when marital property is involved neither party can rent, sell, or take a loan without the other's permission. Those things have to be decided unnanimously. During the past 6 years I have completed the items you listed 1 thru 4 above, and "these people" (as I call them, and I could think of alot other things to call them) have picked up those expenses. So technically thats their rent. I will get a lawyer, as you suggest, because I want this situation to end and my home back. Maybe my wife won't show up in court:) and it will be easy, to get rid of them. Thanks for the quick response, and yes, I stay up nights thinking about this.

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Jake on April 14, 2012 @14:50	[ Reply ]

Alex, you have a pair of first class leaches in your living room that are sucking the life out of you. Your wife is allowing it to happen. What you are going to have to do is get it across to your wife that someone is moving out, either you or them. Set a deadline and stick to it. Rent yourself a small place somewhere and move out if the "children" do not. If you keep the mortgage up, do not pay the utilities. Take the car with you. Do not worry about leaving. Your wife and the children in the living room left you a long time ago. This is no way for you to live the rest of your life.

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Alex on April 14, 2012 @23:35	[ Reply ]

Jake its not that simple there are little children my sons 8 & 11 and I cant bear to leave them, they give me love, so I have to hold out, and fight the good fight. I will file every action that I can. The only one I wont file is divorce I'll let my wife do that and then I'll have my day in court. Lets face it I'm being abused.

Re: Evicting Grown Children

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Anonymous on April 14, 2012 @17:00	[ Reply ]

"Technically, that's their rent" ??? Are you kidding me? They purchase food / household items and that's their rent? THAT'S not rent. MONEY is rent. I think you need an attorney who specializes in this area, but you are NOT going to get anywhere without your wife having your back. Seems she won't do that, so you're stuck, spinning in the sand, going no where. Do any of the moochers work? Do they earn enough to pay for rent in another place?

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Alex on April 14, 2012 @23:28	[ Reply ]

So far all whom have responded, seem to see my point of view. So I ask you, why wouldnt a judge see it as well. I've been spinning in the sand as you put it for over 6 years, and I'm tired of it and intend to do something about it now! and yes I have another place, thats how I keep my sanity. Lets all remember one thing its my house too. I have a say on what can and cannot happen there. If I cant overrule my wife decision, to have them there, then I'm entitled to 1/2 of all profits, from our home. 6 years damages! I'm prepared to sue her as well if she stands against me. Yes the moochers work, can they pay rent I dont care thats not my problem, they have to live within their means as we all should. Yes I need a lawyer, in suffolk county. Do you know any? I give my wife $300 to $500 every week, for her expenses that money will now go to a lawyer its all the same to me.

Re: Evicting Grown Children

Re: Evicting Grown Children by Patse (IL) on April 15, 2012 @09:12	[ Reply ]

martial property does not work like this in the court world; you only need one party to give permission to enter the property, kinda like giving the police permission to enter to arrest someone. "These people" is confusing; aren't they your son/daughter/grandchildren? as I've told people many times; you can pick your friends but not your relatives - and never rent to relatives.

Re: Evicting Grown Children by anonymous (GA) on April 15, 2012 @14:35	[ Reply ]

Dear Alex, I am so sorry to read your story. I've been in a similar situation, but with abusive parents (threats, yelling, identity theft, etc) who moved in with me as a young single woman, not the other way around. At least I could finally make a decision on my own to make them leave. I totally relate to how intolerable it is to be treated this way in your own home. I can't blame you for your frustration with your wife. There is a wonderful book, "Boundaries", that "turned the lights on in my world" and helped me realize that I was a victim of abuse, not a loving daughter. Maybe your wife truly believes that this is what a loving mother does, and your daughter is taking advantage of her misplaced genrosity. Please consider counseling with your wife (not the deadbeat kids) before taking the step to divorce. She may need counseling to realize she is being taken advantage of. I absolutely don't believe you owe the rest of your life to people who mistreat you. I moved on, and you can to. I hope counseling works so you and your wife can have the life you deserve, but if she refuses to budge, I hope you can move on to a peaceful life of your own. Good luck, K