How far would you go? - Landlord Forum thread 324412

How far would you go? by Anonymous on September 13, 2014 @17:26

My tenant invited us to her daughter's sweet 16 party which is in the same town we live in.
I am slightly uncomfortable because our daughter is not friends with the tenant's daughter who attends the same yoga class.
The tenant's daughter told our daughter in school that it would be very embarrassing for me and my husband if our gift was less than $300.
We do not plan on going and our daughter is fine with that.

Do you think we will offend them by not going and might it damage our landlord - tenant relationship?

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Re: How far would you go? by Becky (IN) on September 13, 2014 @17:32	[ Reply ]

"The tenant's daughter told our daughter in school that it would be very embarrassing for me and my husband if our gift was less than $300. " Seriously?? It sounds like the tenant's daughter is holding you hostage. I would tell them that you have another commitment, and skip the party and the gift. I have found it's always better to stay on cordial business terms with tenants, and not become too friendly.

Re: How far would you go? Not an inch. by Kim (WV) on September 13, 2014 @17:43	[ Reply ]

Wow. Of course they'll be offended if they are expecting you to give a gift of over $300 and you don't fork it over. But I seriously hope they are not and it's just their 16 y.o. daughter's attempt at highway robbery. Decline graciously and let them know you have another commitment for that day. If this damages the LL/T relationship, then maybe it's time to let them go and find new tenants when their lease is up.

Re: How far would you go? by Anonymous on September 13, 2014 @19:36	[ Reply ]

Not that far . . .

Re: How far would you go? by NFL_LL (FL) on September 13, 2014 @21:35	[ Reply ]

The tenant/landlord relationship is a business relationship and nothing else. Just for kicks, I would send the girl a birthday card with $300 Monopfoly money and not sign the card.

Re: How far would you go? by Garry (Iowa) on September 13, 2014 @23:21	[ Reply ]

Your tenant obviously feels you are a good landlord to them, or they would not have invited you to their daughters party. Something like that happens maybe 1 time out of every 1,000-2,000 LL/T relationships. So you must be doing something right as a LL in their eyes. But, like most teenagers, their daughter wants, and expects the MOON given to her on her 16th b-day. Since it was her parents that think highly enough of you to invite you, I would suggest this : Send a card to her parents thanking them for inviting you, but you will be unable to attend. Then include a crisp,new $20 bill to give to their daughter on your behalf.------ ( I would send $20 if the T's rent is under $1,000 or $40 if it's between $1-2,000.) Remember, you were invited to a child's birthday party, not her high school or college graduation, and not her wedding, where protocol would suggest you give a larger gift. IMO, if you do it this way, your guilt will be lifted, and your tenants will still think highly of you. ( Their daughter may think you stiffed her, but it's her parents that are paying the rent ) Besides, ALL teenagers think money grows on trees.

Re: How far would you go?

Re: How far would you go? by Nicole (PA) on September 13, 2014 @23:56	[ Reply ]

to the original poster - these folks are immigrants, correct? in my culture, a gift this large is also common but it would be coming from lifelong friends of the family and relatives, not "strangers" such as the landlord, neighbors or parent's coworkers.. Monetary gifts for engagements, weddings and baptisms also are in the several hundred dollar range. Baby shower for one of my daughters-in-law in two weeks and she will leave with quite a few thousand dollars in cash, along with the traditional gifts.

Re: How far would you go? by Katiekate (New York) on September 14, 2014 @00:01	[ Reply ]

Your "relationship" with your tenant is pure business. Never allow a "friendship" relationship to occur with your tenants and yourself. Finally...even if these were "friends" of mine or my daughter...I would not go and I would scratch them off my list. Such bad manners should not be rewarded.

Re: How far would you go? by Wilton (IL) on September 14, 2014 @00:01	[ Reply ]

All my tenants always invite me and my family for dinner, family events and I always decline. I remember that "Landlord Trap" the LPA talks about- keeping tenants at a business arm's length. #4 in http://www.thelpa.com/lpa/tips/6traps.html

Re: How far would you go? by Anonymous on September 14, 2014 @00:46	[ Reply ]

No, this is a social invite, and treat it as such. Just opt out, and there is no reason to send money to reward the attitude from a sixteen year old. I would be gracious, and let the parents know you won't be attending, another engagement for that time frame.....and leave it at that.

Re: How far would you go? by Anonymous on September 14, 2014 @11:00	[ Reply ]

Troll

Re: How far would you go? by Anonymous on September 14, 2014 @21:04	[ Reply ]

Did I miss something? Where did the OP say that the tenants were from a different country/culture?