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Funny Landlord Stories - The Big Funny Scare

The Big Funny Scare

I had rented a big roomy open-concept unit and it was time to go collect the rent for the first time. No one answered the door when I knocked but somebody shouted “Come in, come in” so I opened the door and let myself in, thinking, It’s amazing how many people leave their doors unlocked. What met my eye was a virtual jungle. Lots of large green plants gave the illusion of a rain forest. A nice healthy rubber plant was placed just by the door in front of a warm sunny window. A large fish tank gurgled away and multicolored fish, attracted by my movement, swam toward me. A big ‘ole orange tiger cat made its way in from the other room to greet me. As I was taking all of this in, I heard chirps and twitters and saw several bird cages placed among the greenery all filled with small birds. All of a sudden, I caught some movement of big wings out of the corner of my eye and then there was a thud on my shoulder. My heart was racing a mile a minute. What had I walked into? I slowly turned to see what had landed on my shoulder and stared into a single bird’s eye, you know, that unblinking kind. Along with the eye was a mass of gray feathers, this was a big bird and its wings were out-stretched, trying to balance a perch on my shoulder and crooning to me…."Pretty girl, pretty girl." Now I knew who had invited me in! The bird was making its way toward my hair so I bent over and keep it away from my face and it walked on my back. Another movement caught my attention, did a leaf on the rubber plant just move? I focused on the rubber plant right in front of me and conjured up a big green reptile with scaly skin and spikes running along the ridge of its back. It seemed to be very interested in me. Was it planning to jump? At this point, I thought I was going to have a heart attack and was ready to run out of there, with the bird on my back and all. "Help! Save me!" Just as suddenly, the weight was gone from my back and Howie, my tenant, was telling me, "You can straighten up now, I’ve got the bird. I really need to clip his feathers again so he can’t fly." I was still speechless. Howie continued, "He’s an African Gray, they’re good talkers. What do you think?" As I slowly pulled myself back together after this double scare, I saw Howie with the bird perched comfortably on his arm. “Yup. He sure had me fooled. I thought it was you saying ‘come in’. And Howie, what is that?" pointing to the green reptile, "and why isn’t it in a cage?" Howie told me it was a Komodo Dragon and it slept on a heating pad and on warm sunny days it climbed the rubber plant and sat on a big broad leaf all day just soaking up the sun. Howie also taught me to let Dave, the African Gray, land on my arm and walk across my back and down my other arm. Dave greeted me every Friday with "pretty girl" and the whole neighborhood had some good laughs about my scare.

Story provided by Massachusetts Rental Housing Association (MRHA) http://www.massrha.com

If you have a Funny Landlord or Tenant story you'd like to share, please email me at John@theLPA.com




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