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Tenant's Excuse of the Day page 7

Page 7
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The LPA selects the most original excuses made by tenants to their landlords. If you have an interesting or funny story about your tenant's excuse for not paying rent, we'd love to hear it!
Submit your Excuse of the Day

Excuse of the Day for 11/08/05:

"I ain't paying no rent. You got black mold!"When the tenant showed me the "mold", it turned out to be a stain on the garage floor where her car has been leaking oil. She still didn't have the rent when I explained that it's not mold and she's responsible for the cleanup of the oil. - Thomas N., Golden Gate, FL

Excuse of the Day for 11/07/05:

"I have to save up for another place. A roach crawled into my ear and I had to have it removed in the emergency room!"This tenant is 2 months behind in the rent and by the looks of the housekeeping, it is not suprising that there are roaches. - Walter M., Baltimore, MD

Excuse of the Day for 11/06/05:

"I wanna renegotiate our lease. MY sister is in real estate and she says I'm paying too much."Sorry the lease stands. So does the late fee. Ask your sister if you can stay with her after you are evicted. - Jack Klein, NY

Excuse of the Day for 10/29/05:

"I ain't payin no rent till the dumbass toilet flushes my paper towels." You are not supposed to flush paper towels. The sewer company already told these people not to flush paper towels and feminine products anymore. It's also in the lease. Thanks for letting me vent. - Marla in Chicago

Excuse of the Day for 10/27/05:

"I lost a baby and am staying with Aunt until I recover. I feel so weak and cannot drive to post office to mail the check.."

I said let me talk to your Aunt to mail the check. She goes...."she not home at the moment she will be back soon". The phone was accidentally cut off ( how? I have no idea), after that, until today, she never answer my call. - Eric R.

Excuse of the Day for 10/24/05:

"My brother is getting married and he asked me for money for the wedding."

As a good landlord, I gave her the benefit of not paying on time, she seems so sincere about it. A week later, trying to get a hold of her. No answer. - Eric R.

Excuse of the Day for 10/20/05:

"My daughter needed to get braces and we had to give a downpayment."

I'm sorry you can't afford to stay. I realize you might not be able to pay the late fee and the rent now, so I know you'll understand that I need a judgement for eviction to show my losses for tax purposes. - Joseph C., NY

Excuse of the Day for 10/12/05:

"I already paid your wife."

No they didn't. When I asked her to describe my wife she couldn't. Of course she didn't have a receipt either. Then I informed her that I don't even have a wife! - Don S., Tampa, FL

Excuse of the Day for 10/7/05:

"If you don't give us the OK to have a dog, we're not payin the rent."

My lease says no pets and I don't want to change it. - Nick, NJ

Excuse of the Day for 9/24/05:

"We can't pay the rent because we went on a cruise. It was very expensive especially with the casino. It definately set us back. Don't worry we'll have next months rent on time. Its just gonna take a while to raise this month."

I sent an LPA Notice to Pay Rent or Quit with full late fees. My lawyer is ready to take it to court to evict if they don't pay up. - Bob G., Merrick, NY

Excuse of the Day for 9/10/05:

"We can't pay the rent because the address on our check is wrong."

Meanwhile they told they mailed out the rent 3 weeks ago - Jennifer W.

Excuse of the Day for 9/8/05:

"We were invited to my boss's wedding and we had to give a decent gift."

Your rent is $1500. a month and your boss's wedding just cost you a late fee of $150. I hope your boss was worth it. - Valerie C., Georgia

Excuse of the Day for 9/7/05:

"Don't worry about the rent. Relax, in a few months my family is going to come through with some cash and I'll be able to buy the house form you."

Thanks anyway, James, but the house isn't for sale. You've had a different excuse about the rent every month since I know you. Maybe if you give me your forwarding address, I'll let you know when I decide to sell. (When he asked: "What do you mean 'Forwarding Address?', I handed him an LPA Notice to Pay Rent or Quit.) - John, Bellmore, NY

Excuse of the Day for 9/1/05:

"I just bought a brand new Honda and it is "so sick" so I will not be able to give you rent for to more weeks."

That's when I asked her if it was nice and roomy she said yes, I said great cause you are going to be living in it. Papers were served the next day. - Sara P., FL

Excuse of the Day for 8/30/05:

"My friend is a lawyer and he said the only reason you keep saying you want to know what happened to the rent each month is because you cannot afford to pay your mortgage."

My answer: Your friend is a lawyer? Great! Have him chew on this, this is a 3-Day Notice to Pay or Get the Hell Out. - Chris, Studio City, California

Excuse of the Day for 8/19/05:

"Just because I owe you the rent doesn't mean you are getting paid. I have to work for that money."

Me: If I don't get paid the rent, you don't get to stay in my rental house. - Eddie M., FL

Excuse of the Day for 8/12/05:

"I was at the bus stop and had your money order in my hand. The wind blew it out of my hand and into the street. A bus drove over it and it stuck the wheel."

I inquired about a late rent payment and this was the 'reason'. Bear in mind that this was a day or two after a major WI snow storm. - Aldo, Milwaukee, WI

Excuse of the Day for 8/6/05:

"I am not paying rent until I know you are paying the mortgage I will not spend my money on rent every month if you don't have to."

Stupidity must run real deep in this bloodline. I don't know if they thought I was going to fall for this or what. - Cheryl W., Antelope Valley, Ca

Excuse of the Day for 8/2/05:

"I really have excellent credit, but I can't give you my social security # because I was a victim of identity theft."

This isn't a rent excuse, it's really a screening excuse I received today after an interested tenant returned an LPA Rental Application. The other red flags on the application made it an easy denial. I'm finding the "identity theft" story has become a more and more popular excuse among unqualified tenants. - John@theLPA

Excuse of the Day for 7/27/05:

"I can't pay pay the rent because I'm across town and am out of checks"

Me: You have to tomorrow before I issue pay or quit.
Tenant: All you care about is the money, don't you?
Me: You have till tomorrow. - Joe S., CO

Excuse of the Day for 7/9/05:

"Sorry, but the bank froze my account."

I'm sorry too. Now you have to pay late fees and attorney fees to keep from being evicted. - Matt S., in PA

Excuse of the Day for 7/02/05:

"We're looking for another house, so we don't want to pay till we find something."

I am sending a pay rent or quit notice. - Ryan G,, FL

Excuse of the Day for 6/24/05:

"My car's been in the shop for the last 3 weeks. I didn't even use it."

This was about past due rent for a garage. - Rob A., NY

Excuse of the Day for 6/18/05:

"My son was in the hospital."

I know that doesn't sound funny, but the funny thing is that she didn't realize she's used this excuse the last 2 months, while her son is really fine and playing on the high school baseball team. She's also 2 weeks late! - Mike B., Rutherford, NJ

Excuse of the Day for 6/7/05:

"My husband is on a confidential business trip. It is Top Secret. That means I can't tell you what it is. He'll be gettin the money when he comes back."

This tenant and his wife are trying to keep it Top Secret that they just can't afford the rental. Maybe "James Bond" can get the rent from "M" to avoid being kicked out for nonpayment of $660. in rent. - Marty M., NJ

Excuse of the Day for 6/4/05:

"Yo, uh, I couldn't go to work last week cause I got de-nutted."

What does having a vasectomy have to do with paying the rent on time? (Classy guy.) - John C., Philadephia, PA

Excuse of the Day for 6/2/05:

"Something happened recently which I am not at liberty to discuss. I expect to have all the rent and late fees by the end of the month."

It was already at the end of the month - he means by the end of the next month. I just sent my attorney the info to start the eviction. - Manny, Bronx, NY

Excuse of the Day for 5/23/05:

"I will not pay rent until you replace that noisy refrigerator. It keeps me up all night."

I've heard the fridge and it is not loud. The tenant's unapproved dog makes more noise. I have sent the LPA Lease Violation Notice. - Carman S., NV

Excuse of the Day for 5/19/05:

"I'd like to make our rent payments in large lump sum payments. In 2 months, we'll be able to pay a year in advance."

He has been my tenant for 3 months and has not yet paid on time. Why should I beleive him now? - Rob S., CA

Excuse of the Day for 5/15/05:

"I had to buy a Prom dress for my daughter. I tell ya, they ain't cheap."

Well at least the dress was for his daughter. The weirdo. I want my rent! - Gregory J., NJ

Excuse of the Day for 5/10/05:

"I'm sorry we don't have it. My husband needed the money for his defense attorney."

From what we hear, he was accused of stealing from his job. - Tom C., NY

Excuse of the Day for 5/03/05:

"I cant pay your rent because I'm saving for the deposit and first months rent on a different apartment. "

She got her pay or quit tenancy the next day. Duh!!! - Tara in Michigan

Excuse of the Day for 5/02/05:

"I spent so much of my own money fixing up your place, that I didn't have any left over for the rent."

He was actually hired by the previous owner to remodel, and went over budget. Then he decided he didn't need to pay rent because the amount he went over budget was in lieu of rent. Not my fault he doesn't know how to price a job. - Joshua W., Bountiful, UT

Excuse of the Day for 4/25/05:

"My brother in law is an attorney who eats landlords like you for breakfast."

I thought that was kind of unprovoked. All I did was ask if the rent had been sent yet. But I have to be thankful for the tenant's honesty and stupidity because I would have waited another week if she asked me to. - Frank M, NV

Excuses of the Day for 4/22/05:

I read about you in the "Apartment Magazine." I'm not a member of LPA, but I wanted to share the excuses I received, all from just ONE tenant, starting with the first month he moved in, and lasting for the 3 months he lived in my rental unit:
  • He traded a "singing bird" for the late fee (the bird has brought me happiness, unlike the tenant!)
  • An alleged "general contractor," he suddenly specialized in roofs and "couldn't work" during the 2 weeks we had unusually heavy rains. (Funny, I thought that's when everyone realizes they have roof leaks!)
  • He had to chase down a former customer who "owed him money" (while I was chasing HIM down for the rent!)
  • His current customer's father (a member of a legendary rock band) had gone on tour (that part IS true!) without telling my tenant or paying him for the work he allegedly did on the rock star's son's roof.

I'm taking both my former tenant AND his mother, a co-signer on the lease (due to his BAD credit!) to court. I'm not worried about getting the unpaid rent- he told me she's a "millionaire." I'm still waiting for her to pay........(smile) - Cheri Woods, Los Angeles, Ca.

Excuse of the Day for 4/21/05:

"The bank made a mistake. I had all the rent money in the bank, but now they have no record of it."

This isn't the first whacky excuse out of these tenants. - George B., NY

Excuse of the Day for 4/10/05:

"I can't pay the rent this month because my transmission went on my car and it cost $350.00 to fix so I used the rent money to fix it and you won't be able to call me back because I dropped my cell phone in the toilet and now its not taking incoming calls."

Tenant left the message on my machine. She has only lived in the apartment one month. This is not a good start. - Kevin C. Syracuse, N.Y.

Excuse of the Day for 4/7/05:

"I don't have the rent; can I trade you something??"

- Julie H., CA

Excuse of the Day for 4/7/05:

"I'm going fishing today, I'll pay the rent tomorrow..."

- Julie H., CA

Excuse of the Day for 4/2/05:

"You got mouses all over the home! You got to do something about these mouses to make this home habitual again."

My exterminator found no evidence of mice and the unit was always habitable. This is just one of many excuses this tenant has used for not paying the rent on time. This time I am enforcing the late charges, and sending a copy of the LPA "Pests" clause in the lease. - Lisa M., Far Rockaway, NY

Excuse of the Day for 3/30/05:

"Can you lend me some cash?"

I think this tenant has snorted my rent money up his nose in drugs.- Mary Lou, KY

Excuse of the Day for 3/23/05:

"Rent, Rent, Rent. All you ever want is rent. Well here it is... Oh, by the way, don't deposit the check till the 28th. Harry's mother died and we paid for the party after the funeral."

I just took the check, but then I decided to charge them with a late fee anyway. The 28th is pretty late. - Phil S., AZ

Excuse of the Day for 3/20/05:

"My nephew is law student and he tells me that this lease is illegal."

I knew it was just another excuse, so I my lawyer served them the next day. They did wind up paying the late fee, a partial attorneys fee and the rent. - Jack Klein, NY

Excuse of the Day for 3/18/05:

"I had to pick my sister up from the airport. Then she needed money."

It turns out the sister is here to become a permanant unauthorized resident. Too bad she didn't use the money to pay the rent. Now they will have to use it to move. - Anna Marie, Fort Lauderdale, FL

Excuse of the Day for 3/15/05:

"I am filing Chapter 7, so scr@# you! "

As he drives off in a SUV, and his $50.00 haircut looks like s###t! - Pam, Michigan

Excuse of the Day for 3/12/05:

"We will not pay the rent until you split the PG&E bill."

I'm afraid I have no choice but to evict. They are angry because their utility bill is higher than expected and feel it is somehow my fault. - Robert G., CA

Excuse of the Day for 3/11/05:

"I'm sorry, I just don't have it. I don't even have an excuse. I'm such a loser."

This guy looks like Dagwood Bumstead. I'd feel sorry for him if I wasn't so pi$$ed off. - Walt in PA

Excuse of the Day for 3/7/05:

"Oh no. Not you again. My husband is away on business. He'll talk to you then."

When asked when her husband is coming back, she said "How the heck should I know?" and hung up. I think I have an eviction brewing. - Theresa L., NY

Excuse of the Day for 3/6/05:

"I can't pay the rent because the company I work for went bankrupt, wrote me a bad check and the bank that cashed it made me pay it back."

Every month our brother is late on rent and this is the best excuse he's come up with yet! - Carol

Excuse of the Day for 3/5/05:

"I don't have the money. My boss can't pay me till 2 weeks from now."

I'm sorry but I don't understand why your McDonalds manager can't pay you this week. Do I have to talk to him myself? - Hector from NY

Excuse of the Day for 3/3/05:

"My wife is a SLUT! You think I care about the rent?"

Holey Moley. OOOOKAAAY. I'll just check back another time. Maybe a late fee will work. - Jeff, NJ

Excuse of the Day for 2/27/05:

"Baby needed an emergency hysterectomy. It could be a while till we have the rent."

"Baby" is their attack dog that I never gave permission for. - Mike, M., Boston, MA

Excuse of the Day for 2/23/05:

"I'm not going to pay my rent until you stop using your computer or let me use it too."

Sometimes we become landlords because we don't know any better! I allowed a young adult to stay in my home after he was kicked out of his parents home. I was laid off at that time, and since he talked me into letting him stay and pay rent past the first 15 days "to help me financially as a way to thank me", now I have to get a lawyer to perform the eviction proceedings. I'm joining the LPA to help keep this from catching me off guard again. - William G.

Excuse of the Day for 2/22/05:

"I thought I was supposed to pay you at the end of the year in full."

WHAT IS THIS MORON TALKING ABOUT? I went over the whole lease with them. He is playing dumb or he's really got a screw loose. - Steve S., NY

Excuse of the Day for 2/19/05:

"I have company from out of town staying with us a couple of weeks. You know how it is."

Yes I do. The 3 day pay rent or quit notice has been served.- Robert, San Diego, CA

Excuse of the Day for 2/17/05:

"I didn't do any of that damage. My kids did all that. You know, how kids are? Kids will be kids."

Ok, I have kids, and not once have they broken any windows OR torn out any screens! Thank goodness for big deposits and exterminators, a dumpster and the bug doctor and my place will be on its way to a more deserving tenant in no time! - Lori in St. Paul, MN

Excuse of the Day for 2/15/05:

"We have to buy a new washing machine! We can't goes to work if we aint got clean clothes an we can't pay the rent if we can't goes to work."

If you don't pay the rent, you don't have an apartment any more to put your washing machine and your clothes. - Keith M., NY

Excuse of the Day for 2/12/05:

"I have more important things to worry about. My daughter JUST GOT KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL!"

I'm truly sorry to hear that. I don't know the details. I do know that the rent is still due with a late fee. - John C., VA

Excuse of the Day for 2/08/05:

"I can't pay you in money right now."

I asked "what the heck is that supposed to mean?", and he started bringing out his comic book collection and offering me fairly recent issues of Spiderman and Superman. -Nick, VA

Excuse of the Day for 1/31/05:

"We found mold. I am allergic to it. We may have to call the health dept if you can't get this problem takin care of."

These people never wiped down the bath tub tile enclosure and are growing mildew in the grout between the tiles. Now they want to use this as an excuse to hold back the rent. Obviously they don't have the money. I told them to get some Tilex and start looking for another place because this is going to my attorney. They paid the next day. -Jeffery R, FL

Excuse of the Day for 1/28/05:

"My car is broke and it will be $800. to fix it and I ain't got that neither."

He speaks in double negatives, but when he asked what my Notice to pay or Quit means, I tod him "It means you ain't gonna stay here no more unless you pay." - Johnny A., SC

Excuse of the Day for 1/20/05:

"My camera was stolen out of my car. How am I supposed to make a living?"

He's a photographer and has like 5 cameras. I told him that the rent is still due and he will have to get out if he can't afford the rent. - Marshal M., NY

Excuse of the Day for 1/16/05:

"I put it in the mail last tuesday"

Wow, twice in a matter of 6 months the post office has lost your rent check... that's gotta go in a record book somewhere. I'm posting a pay or quit notice Monday. - Paul K.

Excuse of the Day for 1/14/05:

"My locker at the gym was robbed and I had it in cash in my wallet."

Now I know it's a lie. First of all, he hasn't paid on time yet, plus he's never had the rent in cash. And if you look at this guy, it's hard to beleive he ever set foot in a gym! - Submitted by Adam, PA

Excuse of the Day for 1/11/05:

"I will receive a big check from my business next week. It's big enough to pay the two months rent past due"
One week later: "I received the big check, but it came from Hurracane flooded area of Florida. The party who wrote the check lost lots of money to the Hurracane. It will take one more week to clear the check."
Another week later: "You pushed me too much that I cashed in the big check too early, and it was bounced. The check was mailed back to Florida and was lost in between. However, the other party will issue another check, and I will receive it next week"
You know there will be another excuse for next week! - John C Chou, El Dorado Hills, CA

Excuse of the Day for 1/08/05:

"My sister in-law won the lottery. Don't worry you'll get your money."

They been here 14 months and have not paid on time in 14 months. So here's another B.S. excuse. - Submitted by Kathy H., NY

Excuse of the Day for 1/06/05:

"My husband booked a cruise. It's more expensive than we thought it would be. This will be our first real vacation in I don't know how long. We'll catch up on the rent somehow."

I think I may win the judgement for eviction before they even go away. Dummys.- Submitted by Joey B., NY

Excuse of the Day for 1/04/05:

"I have to make up rent and deposit for another place, can't you use the security deposit for this month... And by the way I won't be out at the end of the month, I'll be out of the first of the following month and you can pick up keys then, since my deposit covers me until then."

Evicting this one on Friday!! - Submitted by Lynde F.

Excuse of the Day for 12/28/04:

"I heard you died or were really really sick."

Well the rent is still due and you owe a late fee. Your rent would still be due if I were sick or dead. Happy Holidays. - Submitted by Eddie W., Burnt Store, FL

Excuse of the Day for 12/23/04:

"There was a mix up at the bank with my moms identity being stolen and now they have the FBI working on it - it should be cleared up in a couple of days - but for now she can't get any money out."

- Actually, this was the excuse for why the tenant still didn't have the security deposit from her mom (long story - young tenant - Section 8 housing voucher - most don't have deposits at all - but rent is paid by Housing Authority): - Submitted by Mfmook

Excuse of the Day for 12/21/04:

"The roof has been leaking for the last 3 weeks!"

Mid Nov- Tenant took it upon himself to tear off the existing roof because he didn't like the color. The roof was fine - no leaks. Told me he was replacing it at his own expense. Now when asked for the rent claims he is waiting for me to purchase the roofing materials. Said "You didn't expect me to BUY the materials TOO?" If he had asked me in the first place I would have said NO because I can not spare the money. I'm through playing games. I am joining LPA and am contacting an attorney to evict. Thanks. - Submitted by William W., OH

Excuse of the Day for 12/17/04:

"We cleaned & fixed a lot of stuff."

Well, its seems that I have 3 guys that hang out together and all 3 of them don't want to pay their rent. They wanted to try to deduct the rent because they cleaned and fixed stuff in their own dwelling. stuff that they destroyed and messed up. All 3 are in the process of being evicted. they all have these great paying jobs too. Well, if that is the case, then pay your freaking rent.- Submitted by JLW

Excuse of the Day for 12/12/04:

"If I paid you the rent, I wouldn't have any money to buy Christmas presents for my kids..."

- Submitted by DT, New York

Excuse of the Day for 12/3/04:

"I did my Christmas shopping early, so I can't give you the rent till after the holiday."

I have a mortage to pay and will not be able to purchase the gifts for my own family because she is irresponsible. I will make her pay the late fees. - Submitted by Jeanne, FL

Excuse of the Day for 11/28/04:

"My wife and I are having problems. Please don't tell her I'm late with the rent. If you tell her, it could destroy my whole family. My daughter is going through a very difficult time. I'll have it all next week- PLUS the next 2 months."

This went on for too many months along with many other lies and excuses so I had to evict them. - Submitted by Jack K., Merrick, NY

Excuse of the Day for 11/22/04:

"We just bought a brand-new car, so that's another bill we have to pay and it's kind of hard having a rent payment and a new car payment now."

- Submitted by Jen, PA

Excuse of the Day for 11/19/04:

"You are going to waive the rent for next 2 or 3 months. You will not argue with me young man. You do not want your taxes tripled if I have to report an illegal apartment."

- This arrogant woman has gotten wind of our Nassau County Tax Assessor who is causing kaos with his attack on landlords. I sent this bit$# an LPA Urgent Late Notice with the eviction status warning and she has apologized and paid the late fee. - Submitted by Steve S., NY

Excuse of the Day for 11/10/04:

"I have relatives who want to help me purchase the house."

- The house is not for sale. I asked for the rent. - Submitted by Mercedes, NY

Excuse of the Day for 11/09/04:

"I haven't abandoned the premises, I've just moved out."

- Well, sounds reasonable to me.....NOT!! The lawyer has been contacted and proceeding to the next step. - Submitted by Pam, Marion, Ohio

Excuse of the Day for 11/08/04:

"I'm not paying another dime till your daughter apologizes for what she said to my daughter."

- Unfortunately, my rental property is in the same town I live in... and guess what! To my dismay, my daughter bacame friends with the tenant's daughter. Whoever said don't mix business with personal matters was right! - Submitted by Diane, GA

Excuse of the Day for 11/05/04:

"I had all the rent money in cash in my glove box and my car was stolen!"

- I said to myself, (wow, now this is a new one). So I told the tenant I would work with him and allow him to make payments on the rent. The funny part comes a few months later when a different tenant in the same building gives me the EXACT SAME EXCUSE, word for word! - Submitted by Rick, WA

Excuse of the Day for 10/31/04:

"The rent is the least of your problems buddy. My toilet overflowed and there is $&!# all over the place!"

I said, "Read your lease. You are responsible for all plumbing stoppages. Now what about that rent?" Thanks LPA! - Submitted by Stefan, VA

Excuse of the Day for 10/30/04:

"My mother says to go to hell."

When asked, the mother says "it was that time of the month." I said, "That's right, the rent is overdue and a late fee is also due." - Submitted by Stefan, VA

Excuse of the Day for 10/22/04:

"Sorry. I'm focusing on my Chemistry class. If I pass I'll pay you. If I fail, I'll need the money for a winter course."

WHAT? Pay the rent or you'll be studying in the street! - Submitted by Tommy, NY

Excuse of the Day for 10/18/04:

"I thought I'd let you know that I have decided not to pay rent next month. I will turn 50 the second week of October and thought that you might like to give me the month's rent as a birthday gift :o)."

- RLamer

Excuse of the Day for 10/16/04:

"I bought a 1968 Chevy. It was a deal I could NOT pass up. I'll have all the rent together by next month. I promise."

Oh, well since you promise... NOT! Late fees are adding up. - Submitted by Johnny C., FL

Excuse of the Day for 10/15/04:

"The mac machine would only give me $200.00. I will get the rest out tomorrow."

Of course tomorrow came and they didn't have the money. Eviction has been started. - Submitted by Amy, NJ

Excuse of the Day for 10/09/04:

"My motorcycle is in the shop. I won't be able to pay you till next week."

Here's your late notice. Don't forget to pay the late fee. - Submitted by Jack Klein

Excuse of the Day for 10/07/04:

"What is it with you? Every month you always call me asking for the rent!"

What is it with you? Every month you are late with the rent! Pay me. - Submitted by Martina K., OH

Excuse of the Day for 10/03/04:

"The Cable TV is broken. I'm not renting any apartment that doesn't have cable!."

The cable TV is not "broken" , it has been turned off for non-payment. Since it is in your (the tenant's) name, you should pay the bill and have it restored. - Submitted by Louie C., NY

Excuse of the Day for 9/29/04:

"You better get over here right away. There's dangerous black mold all around the refrigerator door. This has to be fixed or replaced."

This soon to be ex-tenant needs to learn how to clean the refrigerator gasket. - Jeanne, FL

Excuse of the Day for 9/21/04:

"If I pay you the rent I won't have any money to buy Christmas presents."

This was said on December 22, 2003 when I asked why the rent was 21 days late ( as opposed to the usual 2 1/2 weeks late.) Worst of it all...It was my own Brother ! What about our christmas presents? My mortgage payment was late and I had to pay those fees. This time I am using the LPA lease and enforcing it. I guess that there is a lot of truth to the old adage, "never rent to family or friends" - Samantha, NY

Excuse of the Day for 9/20/04:

"The house has mice and we needed a cat to keep your house free of mice."

This when asked why they broke the No Pet clause. How about just keeping the house clean and not leaving crumbs around? - Janine in PA

Excuse of the Day for 9/19/04:

"We're thinking of buying the home. We'd like an option to buy."

Buy home? It's not even for sale! You've never even been on time with your rent. What does you wanting to buy while totally not qualified, have to do with not having the rent? - Irwin in PA

Excuse of the Day for 9/10/04:

"Don't you be harrassing me over no rent! My husband will pay you when he get out of jail."

Uh oh... Another one bites the dust. - R.O., Uniondale, NY

Excuse of the Day for 9/3/04:

"I can't pay you now. I need to save up to get away from bi--- wife.

- Chachi M., NY

Excuse of the Day for 8/28/04:

"I put it in your back door, now I have to wait until the check is stopped before I can pay you again."

That was on the 6th of the month, they paid "again" a few days later, and that check bounced. - PJ

Excuse of the Day for 8/24/04:

" The Lord told me not to pay the rent this month. I got to do what He tells me. The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Maybe the Lord will help you relocate after the eviction. - NOT GONNA TAKE IT in FL

Excuse of the Day for 8/20/04:

I had to fill a prescription with the rent"

Okay, so the rent was late on the 12th because you did not receive your courtesy envelope. On the 17th it was still late because you had to use the rent money to fill a prescription (must be some medicine!) . Today is the 19th, wonder what the excuse will be today??? - Can we see where this is heading????? - DT

Excuse of the Day for 8/16/04:

May 10 "We decided we are going to move and use our security deposit and besides, we've paid over $30K in two years for rent, you've got your money"

May 11: Posted NOTICE TO PAY RENT OR QUIT/DEMAND FOR PAYMENT with Social Security Number." - Diane, NY

Excuse of the Day for 8/14/04:

"Sorry, we are cash poor, will have it on Friday."

- Diane, NY

Excuse of the Day for 8/13/04:

"You always mail me an invoice with a return envelope, but it didn't come this month. So the money has been sitting here in my apartment since the 6th, so it's not really late."

(that was the 12th of the month) Hello...ever think that just because you did not receive your "courtesy" envelope you still have to pay the about calling if you are not sure what to do. - DT

Excuse of the Day for 8/09/04:

"My husband has the rent, he'll be home friday; I'm not sure about the rent, speak to my husband"

You don't speak to your husband about things of importance after being my tenant for almost 2 years? - Diane, NY

Excuse of the Day for 8/05/04:

"We are not paying due to the unsafe conditions of the porches out back. Furthermore we called the township inspector to have you served with papers on the unsafe conditions and to let you know what permits you will need to obtain to have the work done."

The township was called and they responded finding nothing unsafe about the porches they were built according to code at the time. Pay the rent, right? Wrong -- More excuses to follow. - Fed up in Lancaster Karen

Excuse of the Day for 8/03/04:

"The neighborhood had a block party and forced me to chip in. They really love me. Helen next door said you'd be OK with it."

Maybe Helen next door can help pay the late fees. Or ask Helen if you can move in with her if you have to be evicted. - ANNOYED in NJ

Excuse of the Day for 7/29/04:

"Let's be honest. You are loaded. You really don't need the money do you?"

Of course I need the money! What does it have to do with her keeping her agreement? - Jillian R.

Excuse of the Day for 7/22/04:

"We didn't have an envelope."

(Now you have to keep in mind that these are business owners) - Nancy W.

Excuse of the Day for 7/18/04:

"We can't pay anymore. Take the rent from our deposit. Don't worry we'll be out before the end of the summer."

We may have to sue this tenant. The late fees will also be deducted from the deposit. - Arturo M., MI

Excuse of the Day for 7/15/04:


This from a tenent who was only paying $360 for a newly remodeled 2 bedroom in Venice California 5 blocks from the Beach! After being ask to pay $850, for an $2100 dollar unit. She immediatly recieved an eviction notice/lease termination. - DONLUCIANO

Excuse of the Day for 7/10/04:

"The pool is all green. You gotta do sumthin. I can't have green water."

Not only did you sign a Pool Agreement, you supplied your own pool! PAy the rent! Pay the Rent! Pay the rent! - Marsha

Excuse of the Day for 7/04/04:

"You are crazy. Your wife is ugly. I'll pay the rent if and when I'm ready."

I may be crazy, but my wife's not ugly. How can I not evivt this creep now? - Mario R.

Excuse of the Day for 6/30/04:

"The window is leaking into my apartment. I can prove it. Whenever it rains hard, I get over an inch in the dixie cup I put by the window. You are going to have to do something about this before I pay another dime."

This tenant leaves the window open so it can rain into her dixie cup. How smart is that. She will have to pay late fees or move. - Kathy H.

Excuse of the Day for 6/26/04:

"I have bills to pay, you know!"

This man is my second renter. He now has a dog when the lease plainly states NO PETS. He is going to be evicted.
My first renter tried to not let me show the house to the second freaker guessed it, she had a cat and it upset her baby to have a man in the house. She left on her own after I raised the rent and kept the security deposit so I could get the smell of cat urine out of the house by replacing the carpet. That's were my current NO PETS clause came from. - Stephanie M.

Excuse of the Day for 6/22/04:

"My wife said not to pay you this month. I gotta do what she says- right?"

This spineless dimwit and his nightmare wife are planning to live out their security deposit, but I am beginning eviction now. The LPA Lease makes them responsible for my attorneys fees. Thank you LPA! - LPA Member Vinnie, LI, NY

Excuse of the Day for 6/18/04:

"I didn't get paid today. My boss is on vacation till next week and he is the only one who can straighten the situation out."


Excuse of the Day for 6/12/04:

"We have graduations all over the place. Don't you know how expensive these things are?"

The lease does not excuse the tenant from paying rent - not even for graduation expenses. - Landlord Bob, Naples, FL

Excuse of the Day for 6/07/04:

"Have some compassion. My husband's father is DYING!"

Maybe you can move iinto your father in law's house. (This is the 4th time I'm having the sheriff attempt to evict these deadbeats.) - Steve, BVR Management

Excuse of the Day for 6/05/04:

"This house is haunted. Sorry, but NO WAY am I paying rent for a haunted house!"

If you have any ghosts living with you, you'd better get rid of them or I'll have to charge you for the unauthorized occupants. - Anton, VA

Excuse of the Day for 6/02/04:

"The toilet sounds funny. I don't like it."

- They are used to the flushometer toilet from the tenement they moved from. Normal toilets will take some getting used to- but it's NO reason to withhold the rent! - Marie, Uniondale, NY

Excuse of the Day for 6/01/04:

"You just bought that brand new truck! Why should I pay for your truck?"

- You're not paying for my truck, you are paying for a place to live. I can't wait for this shrew to leave. - C.J., Levittown, NY

Excuse of the Day for 5/24/04:

"Why should I pay anymore rent? The fridge doesn't stay cold and there's garbage everywhere."

This idiot supplied his own refrigetator and made his own mess. I'm taking pictures to bring with me to court. - Liz, FL

Excuse of the Day for 5/19/04:

"You didn't even come to our party. You didn't acknowledge my daughter's birthday!"

I'm not your friend dammit! I'm your landlord. - Steve, BVR

Excuse of the Day for 5/12 /04:

"I gotta pay my other bills first. I got excellent credit."

I'm about to start reporting onto the tenant's credit report! - Jerry D., NY

Excuse of the Day for 5/3 /04:

"I'm short this month. How about you take the rent out of my security deposit?"

You're only 5'2", so you're short every month in more ways than one. - Annie, USA

Excuse of the Day for 5/1 /04:

"I made a bet with my friend that you'll reduce the rent if I stop paying. I want it reduced $100. less for the next year."

Just when I thought I wouldn't have an eviction this year. - Jack K.

Excuse of the Day for 4/30 /04:

"I'm sorry I don't have the rent, but you are looking so cute lately."

That won't work. I'm married! - Jonathan

Excuse of the Day for 4/27/04:

"My bank account was just frozen. Don't worry, I should have this all straightened out within a few weeks."

I should have sued you last month when you didn't pay. - Submitted by Ryan

Excuse of the Day for 4/26/04:

"You didn't pick up the rent when I called. So I spent it."

Eviction process has begun. - Julie W.

Excuse of the Day for 4/17/04:

"Go ahead and evict me. Everybody knows you wouldn't dare risk losing me."

She thinks because she's only 3 months behind on the rent and mows the lawn every 5 weeks that I'm afraid to kick her out. Well I'm looking forward to it! - Steve S., BVR Mgmt

Excuse of the Day for 4/12/04:

"Just because you're a big rich landlord doesn't mean you can harrass me for the rent."

Sending a late notice to the tenant is not harassment. - Danny, WY

Excuse of the Day for 4/11/04:

"My better half just had nose surgery last month that cost $1,000."

Landlord replied, " That's not my problem". Renter says Very Angered " YES IT IS" and hung up on the landlord. - Brian W., Spokane Washington.

Excuse of the Day for 4/10/04:

"Benji has cancer because of 2nd hand smoke coming from the downstairs tenants. I'm holding you responsible."

These nut-jobs smoke more than the other tenants. - Marsha G., NJ

Excuse of the Day for 4/9/04:

"I had to have the sewer cleaned. They got my son's ball, some toys and all kinds of crap out of there. The plumber said that I shouldn't pay the rent because the landlord should pay the plumber."

- Gregory K., NY

Excuse of the Day for 4/7/04:

"My car was robbed and they stole the rent out from the glove compartment."

Well if you car insurance doesn't cover you, I'm afraid we'll have to start eviction. - Joan M., CA

Excuse of the Day for 4/1/04:

"April Fools! You thought I was really going to have the rent today! Ha Ha."

Ha ha. The late fee is being doubled and the rent is going up and I'm not even joking. - Submitted by Bill, VA

Excuse of the Day for 3/31/04:

"My toe got caught in the drain. The sink should have had a stopper! The fire dept had to take the sink out. You owe me for the hospital bill on my toe and a new sink."

What was your toe doing in the sink drain? Pay me. - Submitted by Maureen M., VA

Excuse of the Day for 3/26/04:

"I must've spent it, man. Wow. I don't know what happened"

Hey man... You gotta move now, y'know? Bye. - Submitted by Kathy G., IL

Excuse of the Day for 3/23/04:

"My daddy said not to pay you. You are a greedy MO#&$#er."

It's so nice when the parents have their kids talk to the landlord for them. EVICTION TIME! - Submitted by Ed M., FL

Excuse of the Day for 3/20/04:

"Don't worry. I have it all for you after my card game Saturday night."

I've also heard the lottery excuse. It's sad, but we have to cut our losses. - Submitted by Lisa, NY

Excuse of the Day for 3/17/04:

"My husband went out drinkin and blew the rent! But I fixed him good. I emptied out the savings account and got myself a trip to Vegas."

It's time to put out the trash. - Submitted by Tom, TN

Excuse of the Day for 3/13/04:

"Don't expect me to pay this months rent if you think you will be coming in and out to show the place!"

This tenant already gave me written notice to vacate. The lease states that the tenant will cooperate with the showing for rerental. I think she wants to live out her last month. I'm going to send the Urgent Late Notice. - Submitted by Audrey B., Flemington, NJ

Excuse of the Day for 3/8/04:

"My husband accidentally took the rent with him on the plane to Germany. He'll be back from his business trip in only 3 weeks."

Well he can mail the rent from Germany so it's paid by next week with only one weeks worth of late charges. I'd hate to have him return too late to stop the eviction. - Submitted by Nick, Cape Coral, FL

Excuse of the Day for 3/6/04:

"I lost my money in Vegas! I can't pay the rent till my next payday, which in two weeks and I wrapped my truck around a telephone pole and got 500 dollars out of the truck and barely had enough money to get home."

Reply: You knew your rent was due before you left now pay or get out! - Submitted by A.S. California

Excuse of the Day for 2/27/04:

"My account was just four dollars short."

(His first month in the apartment and is now 25 days late. His check bounced.) For some reason the bank didn't send me all but the four dollars. Instead I got your check back. - Submitted by Todd, KY

Excuse of the Day for 2/25/04:

"Don't EVER interupt Smallville ! Obviously I DON'T HAVE IT. Harrass me again and you'll be sorry."

This clown can watch Smallville someplace else. He's outa here. - Submitted by Rocco, Queens, NY

Excuse of the Day for 2/24/04:

"You gotta fix this window and I ain't payin till it's fixed."

The window was broken from the inside. The neighbors have complained about thenoise and the fighting. This tenant is getting a copy of my new LPA Urgent Late Notice. I'm ready to evict if they don't pay. - Mike, PA

Excuse of the Day for 2/20/04:

"I know my rights. By law, you are not allowed to ask me for the rent. That's harassment!"

Her son is studying in law school. He wants to be a real estate attorney. Too bad he won't be a lawyer soon enough for his mom's eviction. - Jack, NY

Excuse of the Day for 2/18/04:

"Go ahead and evict us. The next person you get in might be worser than us".

They were evicted and the next tenant has been quiet and has never even been late on her rent. - Jim in GA

Excuse of the Day for 2/12/04:

"You ain't gettin nutin! I will be your worst nightmare."

I needed it rented very fast and neglected to check him out. Now I've learned a very expensive lesson! I'm glad I found your site. - Gunther , FL

Excuse of the Day for 2/6/04:

"I'm one of the best tenants you've got. I don't complain unless there's a reason and this is the first time this year I'm late."

Well, its only the beginning of February. They were late 10 months out of the last 12. - Alison P.

Excuse of the Day for 2/1/04:

"My tenant said that she did not conduct business after 6pm on Fridays, including the business transaction of paying her rent. That was Octobers excuse, I am now processing eviction as we speak.."

- Nancy S.

Excuse of the Day for 1/26/04:

"I was out of state and wasn't even in the house most of this month. That's like no wear & tear."

I told him: "That's nice that you had a nice vacation, but your rent is still due every month of your lease." - Jason D

Excuse of the Day for 1/11/04:

"My boss is going to pay you direct."

I don't care who pays me, but the rent has to be paid. Tell your boss to sign the lease because you owe a late charge now. - Matthew Z., NJ

Excuse of the Day for 1/7/04:

"I was on my way to the post office when I realized the check was no good. I wasn't going to send a rubber check. If I can't get the money together by next Friday, I'll let you hold onto my motorcycle."

I need the rent, not a motorcycle. This tenant has been getting worse and worse. I'm afraid I'm going to have to give him notice to leave. - Hilde, OH

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